my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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