I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The Olympian is in my bed
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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