Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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