planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize