HIV tests are more positive than that guy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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