Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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