last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
