so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
too bad you live with your parents still
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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