Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
