Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
