what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
