She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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