new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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