I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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