got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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