dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
