What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
