they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize