You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
