The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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