Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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