I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
