I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
