I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
