I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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