He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
