im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
