Someone shit on the floor
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
