in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
