Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
