so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
