Christians are straight up FREAKS
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
