i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I fill condoms, not promises.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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