dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
