Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
