ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
