When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
