Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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