Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
