Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
