I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
