The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
