If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
