How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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