my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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