Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
