Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
