Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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