So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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