Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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