We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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