I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
