Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
