R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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