The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
