How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize