i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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