now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
