I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
