Christians are straight up FREAKS
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize