so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The struggles of a small town man whore
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
