very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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