WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
