I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
