My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
